SfH 21 Harry Potter and the Fantastic Four
Author: japancat
Content Rating: T-13
Published: 2012-07-20 00:41:10
Tags: Yu Yu Hakusho, Parody, Humor



Summary:
Yusuke gets a mission in England... To protect Harry Potter!

Author´s Notes and Disclaimers:
I always wanted to make a crossover parody. But I feel like I'm juggling too much. Maybe later... If anyone else does it, I would be happy to read it though.
Chapter 21
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The Mission:

It was four in the morning and the four guys arrived in Spirit World. Immediately when they walked into Koenma's office thing, Koenma asked them, "So do any of the four of you know why I called you in today?"

"Why, did you forget?" Hiei asked. And then Koenma used his divine powers of the awesome to Spirit Bitchslap him. And if Kurama hadn't stepped in saying the default, "No," the two would have continued to go on that way.

"Well, I have recently gotten word that there's a crisis in England. This is in the Wizarding World. What you four are to do is to go in and protect Harry Potter, the boy who lived, from You-Know-Who."

"Just say Voldemort, shit." And he was Spirit Bitchslapped again. Yusuke was thinking of investing in this technique. "How do you expect us to…" Spirit Bitchslap again. "Quit that you…!"

"Do we even know English?" Kurama asked.

"And we're basically saving wizards from Wizard Hitler?" Yusuke asked. Needless to say, there were multiple bitchslaps in that room from that point on.

Entering Hogwarts

"So we just needed to take this placement exam? That's not so bad…" Yusuke said. "I just wish these stupid magic people would buy some pens. How the hell am I supposed to take a test with a feather?"

McGonagall shouted, "Silence!" And the test was done.

"Dude, that test was so hard…" Kuwabara whined. "I didn't know a single answer."

"You just write the stupidest thing you can think of and that's the answer," Hiei replied.

"So if I said the Hitler mobile was the answer to the end of Troll wars, then I would be okay?"

"Blast ended skrewts is ridiculous. What you just said was stupid."

"What's the difference?"

"So we get the results tomorrow when they have us do the sorting?" Kurama asked. They all looked at him like he was crazy. "Uh… They did say they were gonna sort us into the houses. I don't know how they do it."

"Crap. Which house is this Harry Potter guy in?" Yusuke asked.

"Gryfindor if I remember right…"

"Crap, if we don't end up in the same house, how're we supposed to protect Harry? Stupid Wizard Hitler, always making everything hard…"

The next day…

"Okay, well, I'm a fifth year," Kurama said. "Same year as Harry."

"Same here… Somehow…" Yusuke replied.

"I'm a first year!" Kuwabara said.

"…You guys all suck. I'm a seventh year," hiei said.

They all looked at him. "You douche."

At least they were all Gryfindors. (Though the Sorting Hat really thought Kurama should have been in Ravenclaw and Hiei in Slytherin, but he went against everything he thought and decided that the best friends should stick together. For once. Also, he couldn't stand the thought of putting another goth in Slytherin. No as long as Enoby was in there.)

Defene Against the Dark Arts Class

"So, you're Yusuke Urameshi… You're Kazuma Kuwabara… You're Shuichi Minamino… And you're Hiei Chekhov…" Hermione pointed at each one as she confirmed their name.

"Dude, you're Russian?" Yusuke asked, turning to Hiei.

"What, I thought it was obvious," Hiei replied, shrugging.

"Whatever. Yeah, so Kuwabara will forveer be Kuwabara and Shuichi is just Kurama."

Hermione didn't think that made any sense but okay.

Ron nudged her. "Hey, so you know who's the Defense against Dark Arts Teacher this year?" The four guys stared at him. "Well, see, people think the position's hexed because no one can stay for more than a year."

Of course if you read every book, you would know that. They all walked in, took their seats and waited. Then after a few moments, in walked… Yomi!

"Okay, children, I happen to be a secret wizard. So now let us begin our lesson…" Yomi paused when he heard Yusuke raise his hand. "What's the problem?"

"Dude, so you know how you're blind? If you're such a wizard, why can't you just magic the blind away?" Yusuke asked.

"You asshat!"

And everyone in the class gasped. Yomi wasn't going to get tenure.

The next day the students all took their seats. In walked… Or floated, rather… Raizen! Or Raizen's ghost! One of the two!

Raizen looked at the children, then shook his head. "I don't wanna teach you idiots. I'm going to do ghost things in Japan where I belong."

The next day the students took their seats. In walked… Mukuro! And she looked at them, nodded knowingly.

"Let me lay down some ground rules and we'll get started. Rule number one…" She took out a box of chocolates and offered them to the nearest takers, Crabbe and Goyle. And they both ate them with piglike grins on their faces. They decided that they liked this teacher and would gladly… Lick her eyeball or something.

Then Mukuro picked them both up and flung them out of the classroom, screaming, "No eating in this classroom!"

Ron stood up in his chair and rejoiced. Then he realized what he had done and sat down. The Slytherins all shook their fists and wands at him.

"What is wrong with you? You just flung out two students!" Malfoy growled. Mukuro turned to him and waited for him to challenge her. And he decided to go another route, "And what's wrong with your face?"

And she grabbed him by the shoulders, "Well, my good sir… I once poured acid over my face and it burned like hell. And you want to know why I did it?"

"…Not… Really…"

"Good because you don't want to know why I did it. Also- a hundred points from Slytherin. That's three rules you broke."

"What? You didn't…"

"And another seventy-seven because it's a cool number. Gryfindor can have seven points or something."

"That's unfair." Malfoy was going to start crying.

"Yeah and that didn't stop my father from torturing me so shut it."

Ron was really thinking he could lick her eyeball or something too. Harry wasn't sure to cheer her on or to start crying too. Hermione was busy trying to figure out what the three rules were.

And the four guys were just fine. They knew this was perfectly normal.

Snape had a similar conflict… Only because he liked Mukuro's style. You know, disregarding the fact that Umbridge should be in the picture right now.

Harry's Issue

"You know Yusuke, I've been having dreams lately. That I've been seeing Voldemort and… You know, I think we should go looking for him."

"Don't."

"What?"

"You heard me. Make my job easy."

"What?"

Trelawney Makes an Unfortunate Discovery

Professor Trelawney walked up to Yusuke, asked to look at his palm. When she looked at it, she looked up at Yusuke. "Your life line says that you should have been dead by now."

"Yeah, I know," Yusuke replied.

"What?"

"Well, I died in a car crash and some other guy killed me. So…"

"But… Oh… My…" She fainted.

"I came back…"

Voldemort Appears

Voldemort was an idiot and decided to show up at Hogwarts. He looked at Harry and Harry looked at him. They were going to duel, they had their wands out ready to fight. Then Yusuke came in and Spirit Gunned him. And Hiei, Kuwabara and Kurama used their specialties to take him out, just to be sure.

"What in Merlin's beard have you done?" Dumbledore screamed. He was having a headache.

"We have saved the Wizarding World!" Yusuke screamed.

"Get the fuck out of my school, you heathens!"

"And that's why we can't go to England, Keiko," Yusuke said. Keiko didn't think she wanted to believe any of that.

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Chapter 21
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