Author: japancat
Content Rating: T-13
Published: 2012-07-17 23:30:52
Tags: Yu Yu Hakusho, Drama, Mukuro, Kirin, Hiei

Kirin decides he wants to have a bloody mary, and then he is distraught to find there is no tomato juice. And so he embarks on a journey in experimenting with a new product called True Blood.

Author´s Notes and Disclaimers:
I don't own Yuyu Hakusho. But I'm pretty sure Togashi would hate me for some of what I've written.
Chapter 1
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The sun shone in its golden luster, the perfect day for making sepia colored memories. Hiei stepped out of the building, blade in hand, shimmering its silvery light. He looked up at the sky which was the color of amber, as he remembered Mukuro’s hair and the silky smoothness he got as he ran through it with his fingers. His mouth watered at the memory and stopped when he saw a most peculiar sight. What was the material of which this object was made of? Polyerathane? It floated in the gentle breathes of the wind on invisible wings like a butterfly. Swirling round and round. I-

We interrupt this program about Hiei watching a plastic bag floating in the wind to bring you this important message- “Ladies and gentleman- and others- of the jury, I am not a troll. Because if I was, it would look like the following.”

a/n: lol hai thar imma write this thing and it’s gonna be the best thing ever written so you better enjoy it okay? nah, you can hate it but no flamies okay? and I don’t own yyh but I wish I did cause that’d be awesome!!!


It started with a bottle of True Blood. Kirin happened to walk into a drug store to buy himself some clamato juice to make a bloody mary. But instead…

“You mean to tel me you have no tomato juice here?!” Kirin asked rather politely. “I walked two minutes down the street and this is what happens?!”

“hey man it aint my fault man okay man but I have sim of this narly stuff that came in yesterday its called true blood and like man the humans made it. iman it was made by Japanese humans man to supply blood man,” said the man behind the counter who looked like he had a bit too much to smoke man.

“Of course it was made by Japanse humans. What other kinds are there?!”

“man look man you gonna buy it I never tried it but if you like human blood man then this should be good man.”

“Fine. I’ll take it.” And then the man behind the counter dropped a six pack on the counter. Kirin stared at it and then looked at the man. “What is this?!”

“hey man you said you wanna try the true blood man”

“Just one is enough!”

“man what you buy it for man man if it’s for bloody marys man then you can make like a super mega ultra man bloody mary man”

Kirin thought like a boat- long and hard. “okay but if you gave me something bad then I’m gonna come back here and kick your sorry ass…. man.”

“well man you do that and I kick yo mommas ass man. I know where she eats at…”

“I’ll kill you if you do that.” He meant it. “I mean it!”
And so Kirin walked back ro the giant centipede thing and took the bottles out. He wouldn’t have minded a super mega ulta man bloody mary man. To make sure that he wasn’t just given some stuff left over that the man behind the counter had, he opened a bottle and it was insane. It opened his eyes. Those scientists reinvented the blood of humans! It was so good he decided he wanted another one. He was starting to feel
pumped up now. He drank another and another and he kept feeling more and more pumped up. And then he felt a little funny downstairs… He looked down to see a raging boner.

“What the hell is going on?!” Kirin screamed. He picked up the bottle and on it was written “BONERS MAY OCCUR IF YOU DRINK THE WHOLE THING PENDEJO!!!” And then Kirin looked up and screamed “FUUUUUIUUUU”

Well, might as well put it to good use. So he started to do le fap.

Mukuro was at the door and she asked, “Kirin, where are you?”

“Go away!”

“What the fuck? No one tells me to go away!”

Then the door opened witrh this weird “EEEE-YAH” sound and then Mukuro walked in and asked, “Hey, Kirin I need you…” She paused and saw what he was doing and then he looked at her. Actually he hoped she wasn;t looking at his face or his boner or his feet cause that would be really embarrassing but she turned a weird color like purple or something and the she said, “One second thought, you can have the week off. I just remembered that I have to get a fitting for a chicken suit.” And then she ran away but she didn’t scream cause she’s all stealthy and shit.

Then Kirin cried over his loss of Mukuro’s trust. But then he thought of Mukuro in a chicken suit. A cultured person like her in THAT?! No waay! Then again… Chicken suits are kind of hot.

fap fao fap fap went Kirin.


Mukuro walked in the room and Hiei was sitting on her bed with his legs crossed and then she got mad because he had his shoes on the bed and there’s no way she’s let that happen in her bug house thing! And then she decided to argue with him but when he looked up at her all sad she decided not to yell at him because she’s her honey and they liove each other lots even though she’s old and has old lady boobs and stuff.

“Bloody hell, Hiei! I daresay I could not get that bloody Kirin to help us in our plan!” Mukuro said to him angry.

And Hiei said, “Hn. That guy is was an idiot anyway. We don’t neeed him. We can do it ourselves. Let’s start right now.”

“No, we shan’t. I have something I must do right now and I must have at least a fortnight to get it done.”

“What’s a fortnight?”

“You are such a bloody prat.”

And then Hiei started to cry.

“Oh you silly git I didn’t mean it. I love you.”

And they hugged.

But what is their plan? What’s wrong with Kirin? What whant time is it? I don’t know! Why are you asking me just cause I’m writing this?>! Nezxt time on ADVENT! Now send me lots of reviews okay?

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